I can't do this! I'm not good enough! No-one will want to hear what I have to say! I'm useless! Sound familiar?
Every single person reading this post will have experienced what is known as 'Self-Talk.' Put simply, this is the way in which we speak to ourselves in our head. Now, if we speak to ourselves in a positive manner, there isn't an issue. However, the all too familiar voice of the inner critic, the doubter, the voice that judges everything you do, is a voice that I think will be common to most people.
The 'sciencey' bit (bear with me here....)
There are many studies which show the direct connection between the mind and the body and therefore how our thoughts and feelings directly affect:
Recently I watched a video on Facebook that focused on the negative self talk that we speak to ourselves and I began reflecting on my own self-talk. I thought of the endless situations I've been in where I've been really critical of myself and to be honest, given myself a really hard time! And when asked the question, "Would you say that to a friend? Would you say those things to a family member or someone you love?" I was horrified! I could never be so negative to somebody else, let alone to someone I love! So why do we do this and what can we do to help ourselves to promote better emotional health?
Here's what I did.....
I pasted a photograph of me, as a child, on the lock-screen of my mobile phone. (I used my mobile because I tend to have it on me most of the time, or at least nearby! But a photograph would be just as good!)
Every time I have a fleeting negative thought and the moment the inner critic starts it's antics, I click on my phone and see my younger self! Can I tell my younger self that, "You can't do this! You're not good enough for this! You can't do anything right" No, I can't!!! A hundred times, no!!
When I look at this picture, I feel warm inside and I'm instantly filled with love and affection and I tell her, straight away, 'You can do it! You are SO good enough!" And guess what?? Yup, you guessed, the negative self-talk, the critic, the doubter, what ever you want to call it, isn't given a chance to speak!! The positive self-talk stimulates positive feelings which in turn stimulate the 'feel-good' hormones. Result! Just imagine the positive effect this has on your physical well-being!
This technique works for me and so I thought I'd share it with you guys. Remember,
Every single person reading this post will have experienced what is known as 'Self-Talk.' Put simply, this is the way in which we speak to ourselves in our head. Now, if we speak to ourselves in a positive manner, there isn't an issue. However, the all too familiar voice of the inner critic, the doubter, the voice that judges everything you do, is a voice that I think will be common to most people.
The 'sciencey' bit (bear with me here....)
There are many studies which show the direct connection between the mind and the body and therefore how our thoughts and feelings directly affect:
- our emotional well-being
- our physical health
- and promote our mood (whether it be positive or negative)
The effects of negative self talk
If a person is feeling stressed, slightly or chronically, this is usually when the negative self talk occurs. Stress releases a number of chemicals within your body and as a result your fight-or-flight response kicks in. Elevated levels of chemicals, Cortisol in particular, can decrease the volume of the pre-frontal cortex of the brain (stay with me!) which is the part of the brain responsible for positive emotions and affects our cardiovascular health, our mood, weight management, anxiety, interest, motivation....to name a few!
So, what can you do to stop (or at least minimise) this negative self-talk?
Here's what I did.....
I pasted a photograph of me, as a child, on the lock-screen of my mobile phone. (I used my mobile because I tend to have it on me most of the time, or at least nearby! But a photograph would be just as good!)
Every time I have a fleeting negative thought and the moment the inner critic starts it's antics, I click on my phone and see my younger self! Can I tell my younger self that, "You can't do this! You're not good enough for this! You can't do anything right" No, I can't!!! A hundred times, no!!
When I look at this picture, I feel warm inside and I'm instantly filled with love and affection and I tell her, straight away, 'You can do it! You are SO good enough!" And guess what?? Yup, you guessed, the negative self-talk, the critic, the doubter, what ever you want to call it, isn't given a chance to speak!! The positive self-talk stimulates positive feelings which in turn stimulate the 'feel-good' hormones. Result! Just imagine the positive effect this has on your physical well-being!
This technique works for me and so I thought I'd share it with you guys. Remember,
Loving these posts Em! Just about to finish a book by Susan Jeffers titled “Feel the fear and do it anyway” .... it’s been around a while, good read and relevant to this blog... we all have an inner chatterbox - The little voice inside that tries to drive you crazy, and often succeeds! Out talking your chatterbox with a positive voice takes time and practice for sure.
ReplyDeleteLook forward to your next blog...
Thank you Juliana. (Just learnt how to view my blogs and reply to comments! I wouldn't have had a clue that you'd replied if you hadn't said on Facebook! I wasn't ignoring you lol)
DeleteI think I'll give the book you mentioned a read. The mind intrigues me loads. After a lot of practising of using positive talk, this is the technique that I found most useful. Seriously, I could be walking through Tesco when my inner critic starts so I get my mobile out and look at my picture. I just CAN'T carry on speaking to myself the way I was! Will see how I get on with this technique in the long term!
Next blog is a good one (even if I do say so myself!) - about the words we use to encourage our children and yet they have the opposite effect! Glad you're enjoying them xx